In fascinated by insanity. Call it a compulsion, an obsession, an addiction of sorts. Call it a man calling out to an imaginary savorer in search of his something that resembles inner peace. A calm. A stillness. Alas I've concluded that this passage threw the mountain has yet to be found still I've discovered the important aspect that nothing stirs my emotional cauldron as much as missing someone. Be it an ex-lover moving forward with a new apple in their eye, A family member to far away to hug, or an energy that has passed into a new form. Simply put, I don't do we'll with loosing people but at least I've identified that problem and can begin to address it.
As some of you know I lost my Grandma B just over a year ago today. Today I'm working on placing the finishing touches on my next edition of Perpetual Motion which featured a tribute pipe made for her by the F.A.M. Shipwreck Glass, DWreck, Luke Wilson and Konstant Be. Though the piece has brought me great peace I also can't help but fell this is a final goodbye in a way. At the very least it the last standing responsibility I have on my plate in concern to passing on her memory. When this realization hit me yesterday I freaked out. I almost had a complete breakdown in the middle of the grocery store. She's really gone, and no matter how beautiful the words I write about her are, she never come back to me. That energy has transformed and though she may visit from time to time, she has a whole universe to explore and I must move forward steadfast and strong in my own personal quest too. The article is shaping up to be another whoooo-banger bursting with the colorful verbiage my readers have come to expect yet it should be know that with this one a small piece of my heart is being sent out with each copy and that she very well may be found reading it over your shoulder. I never believed in the afterlife until she was gone, I'm still not sure I'm sold on the idea but as least I have a blind hope that someday I get to hug her again. Missing her has been a key part of my madness over the last year and now it's time I start to push forward. I'm sure plenty other madness with fuel my fire but this is a source I need to look at cutting off one and for all. I want to celebrate her not mourn. I thought I had made this change months ago but writing this article had proven to me otherwise.
Besides that yesterday was an interesting lesson in not judging a book by it's cover. I was working on reformatting my YouTube page as to have a more profession presentation and was hitting roadblock after roadblock. First I spent 45 min trying to solve the problem on my own by trial and error. needless to say it was pretty much all error. Then I turned to YouTube tutorials my favorite outlet for learning now a days. The first video was worthless, as was the second, the third, etc. Then I came across a video from a 10 year old kid. As I went to hit the back button I paused and thought shit in todays world this little dude might be just the answer I've been looking for. I started watching his presentation and it was just what I expected, little man didn't even know half the names of the features and link he was telling me to hit, but he knew exactly what he was doing. It was classic. 5 min later after over 2 hours of failure this child had just schooled me. All I could do was laugh and give him his props. I figured I'd share the video for all my artist friend who may want to give their page a more professional feel. Presentation is an important aspect of marketing and I'm 1000% happier with how many page looks now.
The all the Lucid Daydreams and Loose Wires I have to share today. All of this may not make any sense but that's all good by me. I'm really digging the concept of sitting down for 30 min. daily and recapping my thoughts if even for just myself. If you all gain a look into my world and take something for it awesome. If not I have plenty of other avenues to accomplish those goals.
Till tomorrow, be crazy but stay sane.